“She always told me I couldn’t do any thing right. She didn’t like the way I walked, talked, dressed, ate. She told me I was stupid. I actually believed her. I tried to change but I couldn’t ever please her.”

This is emotional abuse. It is the hardest to realize. This abuse doesn’t leave visible scars but it hurts just as much if not more. If your date continues to tell you how fat, stupid, and ugly you may be, you will start seeing yourself through your abuser’s eyes.

“He forces me to have sex.”

“He always wanted to have sex, even if I didn’t want to. He just kept after me until I gave in. Other times, he’d just force me. He told me I had to, if I loved him.”

If someone forces you to have sex or touches you when you don’t want to be touched, it’s sexual assault. It is a crime. You have the right to say “No”. And remember, males as well as females, can be sexually assaulted.

“He didn’t start being me until we had been going out for six months. I was really starting to fall for the guy. He liked to scare me. He’d drive real fast and head toward a bridge abutment, saying, “I think it’s time to die now.” Once he tried to kick me off the motorcycle going down the highway. He even tried to get me to stand with an apple on my head, so he could shoot it off.”

You have to get out of this relationship before something really bad happens. There are ways out. All you need to do is tell someone you can trust about this person. He is committing a crime.

“I was always a little shy and when I started dating Rachel, I was thrilled. One night she got really mad at me and wanted to know why did I talk to her friends when she wasn’t there. I thought that her jealousy meant that she loved me. Then she started cutting down my closest friends. She told me that I couldn’t go out with them anymore. If I saw them, she’d get really angry and scream at me. I just make up excuses to my friends now and spend time with Rachel. It’s better that way.”

Isolation is a favorite tactic of the abuser. The abuser wants to keep control of the relationship and you by isolating you from your friends and family. They want you to be totally dependent on them. Do you find yourself in these or similar scenarios? You have the power to break the cycle. Be honest with yourself because only you know what type of a relationship you are in. Jealousy does not mean love and love doesn’t have to hurt. Get help. There are better relationships waiting for you out there.